Pros and Cons of a Two Income Marriage
Balance Between Home and Work Key to Dual-Career Marriage Success
Aug 30, 2009
At some point, a career woman may also find the need to balance the demands of work and the family as traditionally the wife is responsible for most of the household and childcare responsibilities.
Higher academic qualifications, excellent performance on the job and career advancement opportunities given by the company are some reasons that may have propelled the wife's career and income ahead of the husband's. Some men may view the wife's success as a reflection of their inadequacy to provide for the family.
Career and Two-Income Marriage Defined
In most industrialized countries, the traditional gender role attitudes and cultural norms which dictate that the husband is the breadwinner while the wife is the homemaker, are fast becoming a thing of the past.
With more job opportunities opened to women, a two-income marriage is more common nowadays. A two-income marriage is defined as one in which both husband and wife pursue the same or separate careers while maintaining their marriage commitment with or without children.
According to D.Knox and C. Schacht in their book Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family," a career is different from a job in that the former usually involves extended education or training, full-time commitment, working nights and weekends 'off the clock,' and a willingness to relocate".
Many credible authors have written books and articles about the advantages and disadvantages of a two-income marriage. These may include the following:
Advantages:
- For the women, there is greater financial independence and for the men, there is some relief of the full responsibility for supporting the family
- Husband and wife can relate better with each other over recognition and rewards, work stress and concerns in the work place
- Increase in disposable income in relation to personal and family expenses
- Increase in family income enhances the lifestyle of the kids as well
Disadvantages:
- Not enough time for oneself, with one's spouse and one's relationships e.g. ties with friends and parents
- Work-life balance issues e.g. having to work long hours to earn and maintain the standard of living
- Less quality time spent with the children as both parents are working full-time
- Dad and mom have less time to supervise the children, where a good role model may enhance the children's growth and development during their formative years
Clearly, husband and wife may need to evaluate and decide on what would be a good balance between the demands of work and demands of the family in relation to fulfilling their personal goals and needs.
Successful Marriage
What makes a two-income marriage work in particular when the wife is earning more is surprisingly simple. There must be mutual respect between husband and wife.
Christy Casamassima in her 2005 updated article "Battle of the Bucks" written for Psychology Today, noted that placing a value on individual worth rather than the financial contribution is necessary to make the wife's higher income a non issue.
She further mentioned that "both should see the marriage as common ground on which both partners have equal standing" or equal contribution and that both should "openly discuss marital roles" and problems as they arise.
As long as the man is gainfully employed or diligently looking for a job, and has a focus in life, it would still make him stand tall beside his more successful wife. At the end of the day, husband and wife would have to decide what is best for themselves and the family as illustrated in the article "Have Your Cake and Eat It Too: Balancing Work and Family in a Dual-Career Marriage". Life is about making choices along the way.
Reference:
Knox, David & Schacht, Caroline . Choices in Relationships: An Introduction to Marriage and the Family (Sixth Edition). Florence, KY: Wadsworth, 2000.
"Have Your Cake and Eat It Too: Balancing Work and Family in a Dual-Career Marriage." Knowledge@W.P.Carey. September 26, 2007
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