Married Couples Should Divide Household Chores
Avoid Marriage Problems With a Simple Plan for Housework
Dec 19, 2008
Married couples don’t need to fight over whose turn it is to wash the dishes or fold the laundry. Try making a simple plan to turn housework into his and her household chores. Even a household where the chores are split 50/50 and both partners are equally capable can benefit from a plan to divide housework.
Divide Housework for Success
The idea behind dividing the housework is that each person will be responsible for specific areas. Most married couples already divide the household chores into his and her chores without having a written plan. Writing the plan down, however, can help prevent fights and marriage problems because both partners have the same expectations for who handles what at home. A clear-cut division of labor can help to stop fights before they start.
Housework Plans for Different Households
Each married couple’s housework plan will look different. In a house with no children and two working partners, the spouses may split the housework evenly. In a home with one working parent and one stay-at-home parent, the parent who works in the home may handle of the bulk of the household chores. Everyone’s plan will look different based on the unique needs of the household.
Make a Plan Alone First
Begin by having each spouse sit down separately and write down how the plan would look. Make three columns with one for the husband, one for the wife, and the one in the middle for either or undecided. Start with general household chores and ones that are already assigned. For example, if one spouse always handles having the dog groomed, go ahead and put that chore on that spouse’s list.
Be Honest, Be Fair
When writing the list separately, it helps to be as honest as possible. Each spouse should feel free to write a list that they would like to see accomplished and to move things around. The first time a list is drawn up it may be eye-opening to see how much is expected of a spouse. It may take a few tries to get a list that looks fair but is also an honest attempt to divide the housework.
Share the Plan With the Spouse
If both partners have made their own lists, start with a new piece of paper with only two columns for his and her chores. Avoid having one spouse dictate to the other what jobs are his or hers. Start with the areas where both partners agree and add them to the new master list. If there are a few chores that could go on either list, discuss how these will be managed.
Resist the urge to simply share these chores. Try them on one side of the list or the other. Leaving them off may end up causing relationship issues and marriage problems. There may be some household chores no one wants to do. Consider a plan where each person does a chore the other person can’t stand doing. Other options would be to recruit the children to help with housework or if the household budget allows, hire someone else to handle the work.
Use the Housework Plan Successfully
After the housework plan is complete, try to stick with it. With common goals and expectations, there can be fewer fights and marriage problems. If one person isn’t working on his or her portion of the list, consider if the plan needs to be updated or if the original plan was not a shared project. The plan for housework does not need to be carved in stone. It can certainly change through the seasons and years.
A written plan to divide housework can be a great way to get both spouses on the same page for accomplishing household chores. Dividing the labor in writing, even when both partners are willing and capable to do the work, can help to stop fights and reduce conflicts in marriage. Married couples who want more information about spending quality time together may like to read, Give the Gift of Time Together This Year.
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