How to Avoid Divorce and Keep the Family Happy
Family Communication Skills for a Safer and Happier Home
The failure for a married couple to get along brings with it heartache, hardship and most of all leads to the insecurity of the children who become the victims of a battle they don't understand.
While men and women see the world in a different light, ego and selfishness are the main reasons why a solution to marital difficulty can't be found. Marriages fail as both sides don't understand the importance of trading in egos for the peace and prosperity of the family unit. Many people fear to make a full commitment to any relationship. Nuptial agreements are written up which, in many cases, guarantee the failure of the marriage even before the couple make their vows at the altar.
A happy home life is possible. Many elderly couples have survived fifty or more years together and succeeded despite their differences. In today's environment litigation is an easy out and makes it difficult to keep wedded bliss.
There are no real secrets to a happy marriage; just a little common sense can help keep any family from falling apart. There are rules that many happy couples follow that guarantees a successful union no matter what the economic climate may be. Assuming that love was the genuine motive for getting married and not infatuation, the rules are simple and can insure a safe and happy home.
Recognize the Other Person's Uniqueness
Everyone occupies his or her own space in life. And everyone has something to contribute to every relationship. Recognizing them for who they are instead of forcing them to conform to some standard insures peace and stability. It's a cardinal rule that should also be employed when meeting strangers for the first time.
Avoid Nagging
No one appreciates being forced into a situation where he must defend himself against a verbal onslaught. While women are often guilty of nagging, it is not exclusively limited to their sex. In fact, verbal abuse from men is often worse, as it can lead to physical abuse, a far greater crime.
Avoid Criticizing
Much the same as nagging, trying to force the other spouse does little good when fault is found in every move. Criticism has its place in a marital relationship, but it is the method used to deliver it that causes strife. A little tolerance goes a long way to keeping the peace. Criticism is better taken if it is accompanied with love and a genuine desire to help the one who is being criticized.
Be Appreciative
It's the husband or wife who praises a spouse regularly and makes him or her feel important that insures the marriage will last. Unfortunately, giving honest appreciation is lacking in many families. Familiarity should never be the excuse for not dishing out a little praise combined with a physical act of kindness. Everyone appreciates genuine praise and it should be doled out lavishly. It's not necessary to prove love with a cruise around the world. It's the little things that make a great and lasting impression. Children demonstrate their love for mom and dad with simple crayon drawings they make at school. It's the effort that's made which is important, not the size or expense of the gift.
Be Courteous
The harshest words and the worst insults occur within the family. A social environment becomes the avenue to criticize spouses behind their backs. It's more common to see the members of a household ignore one another in a party atmosphere. When couples host parties, they often show no concern or demonstrate any love for each other. They may think of the need for decorum, but little acts of kindness like helping out in the kitchen or holding a chair demonstrate to guests that their hosts care enough for each other. And if they care for one another, they also care enough for any guests they invite into their homes.
Increase Intimacy
Neither the man or the woman knows everything that pleases the other. The bedroom is the most sacred sanctum in the home where love can be learned and demonstrated. Intimacy means learning about sex through talk and books. Intimacy cannot be demonstrated with a quick 5 minute encounter. Sex is the best expression of love, so it should be done well by both partners.
The average family fails miserably in employing any of these rules. It's no wonder that the divorce rate is so high. But since the marriage is a microcosm of the greater world, if either side can't learn to live at peace with one another, neither will do any better outside of the marriage unit.
A Permanent Union is Based on Trust
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Children Need a Happy Home Life. Give it to Them
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