Effective Family Communication
How to Insure Happiness in the Family with Good Communication Skills
May 16, 2009
Getting thoughts through by the spoken word is a difficult task for many people. And most of the basics begin with the family. Unfortunately, effective communication is an art that many people simply do not know how to do properly. Parents can't agree among themselves and can't find common ground with their teenagers.
While talking comes easily, as everyone learns to do it at an early age, getting a message across is far harder. Communication means talking. But good communication requires more than mouthing off a few words.
Part of the reason why the divorce rates are so high is due to the failure to find common ground both partners can use as a foundation from which to build rapport. Without proper communication family issues can't be resolved.
Communication breaks down for a number of reasons. Knowing what those reasons and doing something about it can save a marriage and keep it strong and unified.
Failure to Listen
Effective listening requires total attention without distractions. An undisciplined mind is full of random thoughts. Worries, fears, financial problems cloud the mind to the point that what is being said is not being heard. Being able to devote 100% of attention to the conversation requires a great deal of discipline. But if communication is to be effective, learning to listen is one of the main priorities.
Listening without Bias
Everyone grows up to see the world in a different light. Experience, culture, language and belief systems get in the way of a conversation that makes it too easy to miss the points made by either side. Counselors and professional negotiators are often called on to provide a neutral stance and offer a solution that the warring parties often don't see. Knowing how to set aside biases can help to establish peace between husband and wife and save a great deal of the expense associated by involving a third party.
The Urge to Interrupt and Criticize
Many families are guilty of this action. Familiarity should not be the excuse to cut into the middle of a conversation. It's a fault of human nature that should be temporarily set aside. The best method is simply to let the other partner have his or her say on the matter before expressing a different opinion. Many arguments could be avoided simply through attentive listening. In some cases offering up an opinion is not necessary if all the other party wants is to air a grievance and have someone listen. The best method is to just ask questions relating to the subject.
Failure to Find a Common Ground
The purpose of any conversation is to find a common ground on which to build. Finding agreement should be the first step before major sticking issues are discussed. It establishes the mood and a feeling of trust that makes both sides want to find a solution to the more difficult problems.
Failure to Praise
Genuine praise is not given enough in the average family. Obviously husband and wife married each other for good reasons, but they constantly fail to emphasize those reasons. Unfortunately, those reasons never come up in a family argument. Praise is one thing everyone needs to feel important and have a sense of self-worth. Children and the spouse want to be recognized for what they offer the family unit. Without due praise any negotiation will be difficult. Conclusions will be impossible without finding some admirable quality in the other person.
Failure to Learn
Life is all about learning, and no family has a perfect union. While talking and listening are important skills, it is equally important that both sides learn something from the conversation. Children grow up in different circumstances and so can offer unique perspectives which should be heard, rather than dismissed. Getting several perspectives helps everyone reach better conclusions. It is not necessary to agree to every word spoken, but providing a sympathetic ear and a good deal of understanding will do far more to cement a relationship and avoid the divorce court.
Good communication skills keep the family strong and better able to withstand every family issue and the pitfalls of economic downturns. As the family unit stays strong, so does the nation.
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