This is an article for those in abusive or violent relationships. It gives information on domestic violence, the causes of abuse, advice, and resource numbers for escape
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
By Joletha Cobb
What is domestic violence? Domestic violence is when one or both partners in a marriage are abusing each other on a regular basis. There are different types of domestic violence. The first type of domestic violence and the most prevalent in these days is physical abuse. This is where one or both spouses abuse each other by hitting, strangling, or pushing each other. The second type of domestic violence is emotional abuse. This is where one or both spouses will verbally abuse the other using name-calling, demeaning, or stripping their spouses of the most valuable asset they have-their self-worth. The third type of abuse is mental abuse. This type of abuse is where the abusing spouse controls the spouse to keep them from leaving the marriage. They will lock the spouse in the house while they are working, keep them from their family and friends, keep them from using the phone, check their gas gauge or odometer on their cars to make sure they did not leave the house, give them a time limit to be back when they do leave the house and so much more. With the mental abuse usually accompanies physical abuse.
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence 2001 statistics reported 20% of violent crimes against women were intimate partner violence. The 2000 statistics showed 1,257 women and 440 men were killed by an intimate partner.
Domestic violence does not stop. No matter how much the abuser begs you to stay and that they can stop it will not stop on its own without counseling. It will only get worse.
Getting out of a domestically violent relationship is no easy task but can be done. Having a good plan first will insure success. Getting out of a relationship where domestic violence does not mean the marriage or relationship has to end. With the proper counseling the abuser can get the help they need to stop the abuse.
The reasons for a husband or wife to abuse their spouse stems from the low self-esteem they have. They do not have good communication skills and are frustrated with themselves. They are very insecure in themselves. This could stem from issues they were exposed to as children. They could have been abused themselves as children.
Domestic violence does not just involve and affect the spouses in the marriage or relationship; it also affects the children. Most often than not the children in these relationships are also abused. They too will grow into adulthood with the same issues as the abuser. They may grow to be abusers themselves.
Don’t risk your life or the lives of your children another day. Decide and make a choice to get out while you and your children are still alive.
Here are some tips for making a plan to leave an abusive relationship.
The first thing you will need to know about leaving an abusive relationship is to have a short term plan in case of an emergency and a long term plan for staying free of the relationship until counseling has been achieved. Remember leaving the relationship does not mean that it is over. Separation until recovery is in place is a must to be able to reconnect as a couple and make the marriage a safe, healthy, and joyous relationship. Love is not supposed to hurt.
If you are in a violent relationship here is a resource number for you to use. National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 TDD 1-800-787-3224. Taking the first step requires great courage for you and your children but you can do it!
