Today's fast paced environment seldom allows people to cultivate solid relationships. And as building friendships take time, so does a marriage. Rare are the couple who survive fifty years or more united, in love as the day they made their vows upon the altar.
Commitment is lacking. Fear grips many into protecting themselves through nuptial agreements, designed to protect against the resentment and ravages caused through a divorce. Yet those agreements are the catalyst that insures that the marriage will not work well before the couple approaches the altar.
But a marriage doesn't have to built on a foundation of sand. There are rules that can help build a strong bond between them and insure their children of a happy home life.
The Urge to Create Unity and Peace
The health and happiness of any relationship in a marriage and in a home simply can't work if there is no desire to keep the family unified. While many believe in quick fix solutions, a strong family unit requires a good deal of effort and requires time to build. Both sides must realize that keeping the unity and peace is more important than satisfying selfish desires.
The Quality of Patience
It's lacking in many families today. To have a strong marriage, it's necessary to build a good relationship with the other sex well before the vows are said. Too many couples marry too soon. They don't know enough about their partner until their faults are revealed in day-to-day contact. Many people spend more time planning for a vacation than in seeking out and establishing a good relationship with their potential life partners. Marrying too quickly increases the risk of misery and unhappiness during the marriage. Patience is an asset both before and after the marital vows.
Casting Away Suspicion
Suspicion and doubt have no place within a marriage. A strong relationship cannot develop if either side is looking to find the slightest sign of infidelity in their partner. The bonds of love can only develop on faith and trust. They are the principle ingredients agreed to at the altar. If neither side can cast away their suspicions, the marriage will not work even if all else is correct. Those who stay married fifty years have learned to throw away fear and have faith in one another.
The Skill of Listening
Listening is lacking in many relationships today. While everyone knows how to talk, few actually know how to combine talking with listening and an open mind. They base what they hear on bias and prior experiences, automatically assuming they know what their partner wants to say. Improper listening skills kill many relationships. Few people actively pay attention. They wade in with advice or criticism without really understanding what their partner wants to communicate.
Offering up a Sense of Importance and Praise
Everyone needs to feel important. Everyone wants to have their talents and skills recognized. Periodic acknowledgment of those abilities is what helps cements a relationship. Too many married couples don't offer up any praise. They don't make their partner feel important. Raising the other's self-esteem is one of the best ways to keep a marriage together.
Allowing for Self-Expression
Marriage has nothing to do with ownership. Love is based on trust and acceptance. Many men see their partner as something they own, like their cars. And many try to shape their partner into some ideal they have. Individuality is almost never cultivated. Everyone requires their own space for self-expression. That is what makes people happy.
The Willingness to Forgive
Unless infidelity is frequent, one infraction should never tear a marriage apart. Forgiveness is so important, yet many married couples perpetually carry the hurt on their shoulders. Everyone is human and everyone can and will make mistakes at times. Best friends can hurt one another. The willingness to forgive should be as human as making mistakes.
Developing love in a marriage takes time. But the rules governing a strong marriage are the same as those that are required when dealing with friends, coworkers and strangers. If the marriage is strong, so is the social and business life of each partner.
 |
